He Doesn't Provide Health Insurance
by petthekat
Summary: Sequel to Friends with Benefits. Penny and Sheldon are once again riding the roller-coaster of their tumultuous relationship, but while most people are amazed at Penny's faithfulness, a few others are beginning to doubt Sheldon's.
1. Chapter 1

Coffee with her friends was a rare treat Penny loved to indulge in. Once a week, she and her gal pals would meet up at The Brew on the corner of Louisville and Scales, take over the corner table with the L-shaped booth of comfy greatness surrounding it, and curl up with steaming hot coffees or iced lattes to die for. It was one of Penny's favorite times of the week, and this one was particularly special, because her friend Stacy had moved back from Minnesota after trying some stupid college thing over there.

Pfft. Minnesota .. Or California. What a toughie there.

But Stacy had grown up in Cali, so Penny guessed it was a little different. In her opinion, nothing - especially not school of all stupid things - could make her leave California. Then again, she thought with a little grin, she had more reasons than some to stay.

"So, fill me in, guys." Stacy took a long drink of her coffee and leaned back in the cushioned seat, with one arm sprawled over the back. Penny's legs were propped up on her thighs long-ways on the seat, and Emily was sitting backwards in a chair on the other side of the round table. Suze showed up moments later with two drinks for her and Em and, grinning widely, sat in one of the chairs with her knees pulled up and propped on the table.

"Ohh, you have NO idea, Stace. Penny here has had a steady boyfriend - for _six months." _

"No way!"

"I know, right? Apocalypse much?"

Penny laughed, flushing a little. "Hey, it's not THAT rare. I dated that one guy for four years!"

"Yeah, and since then all your other boyfriends didn't last long enough to sit through an episode of Fresh Prince. So what's with this guy? Tell me everything!" Stacy leaned close, and the others did to, even though they knew all about him.

"He's a DOCTOR," Emily said with special emphasis, and Penny rolled her eyes. "He's a physicist, thank you. And his name is Dr. Sheldon Cooper."

The other girls coo'ed and aww'd, and Stacy's eyes threatened to bulge out of her head. "No way."

"Way." Penny smirked a little, tilting her head with a genuine smile and stirring her drink.

"What's he like? Is he hot? Like a - sexy scientist teacher you wanna do?"

"Um," Penny giggled. "Well, sort of." A pause, and then seeing they wouldn't let her drop it, she laughed a little more and leaned forward.

"Well," she started again, before her smile threatened to take over her face.

"He's like … the most brilliant guy ever. And he knows it, too, 'cause he's always telling me useless shit I don't care about, but that's just how he is. And he's .. sweet and adorable and .. Utterly and completely clueless in the best possible way. He's also obnoxious and knocks on my door incessantly and is nuts about cleaning."

She smirked.

"He's so smart his head seems like it's gonna explode. And he has absolutely no sense when it comes to social situations. The other day, he called me to ask if I was familiar with American Sign Language, 'cause apparently someone on the bus tried to signal something to him when Sheldon took his seat."

The girls giggled and Penny rolled her eyes, still smiling.

"So.. Basically you absolutely love him, right?" Stacy grinned and Penny flushed. "What? Sheldon doesn't even .. Understand that concept. We're still at the whole - Yes, Sheldon, holding hands in public is acceptable .. Thing."

She raised a brow.

The other girls tittered and Penny leaned back against the cushioned seat, her smile still there, but her mind somewhere else now. Sheldon. Love?

She was lucky if he hugged her good-bye in public.

But that was just how Sheldon was. He had his quirks, and there were plenty of times she wanted to punch him, but there were far, far more times when she and he were curled up together, by themselves (because Sheldon was really weird about PDA - of course) and she felt so content she could melt into a puddle.

And he felt the same. He just - didn't really say it. Sometimes, though, when he would look at her when they were alone, or he'd give her one of his genuine smiles, and she knew he felt the same, even if his big brain couldn't put it into words.

Which didn't explain why, when she came home that day, she heard a girl in the apartment across from hers.

And Leonard's car had been absent from the parking lot.

Xxx

Stop. Rewind. Two months ago.

Knock. Knock. Knock.

"Penny."

Knock. Knock. Knock.

"Penny."

Knock. Knock.

"Sheldon!" The door flew open and Sheldon took a step back, arms up in the defensive motion even though it was two in the afternoon and there was only a sixty-eight percent probability that Penny would be asleep. She obviously hadn't been, though, because her hair was down and curly and her porcelain face was as perfect as always. Not that Sheldon really noticed those things, but whatever.

"Sweetie, I gave you your own PERSONAL key. You don't have to knock."

Sheldon raised a brow. "But it's rude to enter without knocking."

A pause, and then Penny dropped her head and looked back up at him. "You're right, Sheldon." She stepped inside and let him in, shaking her head all the while. Sheldon stepped in, oblivious to her dismay as usual.

"I came over to make an inquiry as to your plans on Saturday."

"Uhh, I got nothing. What's up? Do we have a daaaaate?" She asked, grinning, and Sheldon's right eye twitched. "Unfortunately not. Due to your inactivity, however, you do now have an appointment to be with me at the remarkably _useless _department dinner of which I am forced to attend. You will accompany me as my date, of course, being as you are my only option."

Penny flashed a big, fake smile. "You know how to flatter a girl, Sheldon."

Sheldon's started. "Do I?"

A rustle of paper and Sheldon made a face, dead-panning. "Oh." Sarcasm.

Penny smirked and stood on her tip-toes, kissing Sheldon's cheek.

"That's fine. It gives me an excuse to wear that slutty dress I ordered offline."

"And which slutty dress would that be, may I ask? This will be in a banquet hall, not a harem." He peered into her closet, and Penny shut her doors pointedly.

"Whichever one I choose! Jesus."

Sheldon rolled his eyes. "Yes, well, whichever you _do _choose, please warn me ahead of time, so that I may pick which side of my jacket to wear in accompaniment. "

Penny glanced up. "_What?" _Oh, please tell me this isn't what I think.

She'd forced Sheldon to get a new dress coat like two months ago, and now he was - Oh, she SHOULD have gone, but God damnit, there'd been a Grey's Anatomy marathon that day and -

"Which side. It's reversible!" Sheldon seemed very pleased with himself and Penny face-palmed.

"I cannot believe you," she said, shaking her head as she exited her bedroom, and Sheldon followed her, completely confused.

"But one side is multi-colored _argyle_!"

Penny slammed her face into her apartment door.

Xxx

"Penny, this jacket is itchy."

"I know, Sheldon."

"Penny, I think I may be allergic to this material."

"You're not allergic! Oh my God, you're imagining things. Look, your boss is looking over here - stop fidgeting."

Sheldon glanced up quickly, finally leaving alone the jacket she'd made him borrow from Raj. Apparently, a simple black coat was far superior a green and pink argyle one. Whatever. The other side was plaid. How could you go wrong with that? Mysteries.

But instead of his boss, a female about Sheldon's age - so about eight years older than Penny - intercepted them. She was pretty, in a bookish sort of way, with dark red hair curled up and a pair of cat-eye glasses. She had nice skin and a little blush on her cheeks, Penny noted. Good use of the color green, too, with that dress Penny had once tried on at Express but given up on because it made her hips look virtually non-existent.

On this woman, though, it worked nicely.

"Hello Dr. Cooper," she said, and Sheldon balked and then nodded.

"Dr. Hill," he said in his stiff greeting. Penny waited to be introduced, but of course, Sheldon had found something other than a human to stare at, so she nudged him.

"Ow! What - Oh, sorry. This is my date, Penny."

The blonde extended her hand and smiled. "Hi, it's nice to meet you. Do you work with Sheldon?"

"I do," the woman said with a smile. It was small, but not unfriendly. She was kind of quirky, like Sheldon or Leonard. "I'm part of the latest study on particle physics. We're investigating String Theory more closely than anyone has in fifty years," she said with a smile towards Sheldon, who offered his own, obligatory smile in response.

"Yes, well, Penny doesn't really understand things like that so we'll just be going to make inane, awkward conversation elsewhere -"

"Oh my God, Sheldon, stop being so rude! And - " She looked at Dr. Hill, who was standing, expressionless except for a little quirk of her legs, waiting patiently. " - I understand - you know, some of it. I mean, he talks about stuff like that all the time! Especially while I'm washing t.v. or even sometimes when I'm su -" A pause, and then she cleared her throat.

"Well, you know. Doing other things - So! God, these look great, little .. Crab cakes."

Penny ate something and choked it down past her gag reflex.

Department parties were the worst.

An hour later, after they had sat at a little round table with Dr. Hill and Leonard, who was also there and had spent the last hour sucking up to the boss, Penny excused herself to the restroom.

"Don't use the first stall upon the entrance," Sheldon said blissfully, examining his own finger-foods. "It's the most commonly used and therefore subject to the most harmful bacteria."

Penny stared.

"Gee, thanks Sheldon."

Sheldon did a double-take. "You're welcome," he intoned. Oblivious.

Penny disappeared towards the bathroom and Leonard shook his head a little. How his relationship worked, he'd never figure out. And he had an IQ of 180.

".. Guys," he said suddenly. "These aren't hush puppies, are they?"

He was turning something over in his fingertips, and Sheldon stared at him. "Why would they have hush puppies at a banquet?"

"Those are cream puffs, Dr. Hoffesteider," Dr. Hill said with the slightest of smirks, and Leonard paled.

"Oh, God. Be right back!"

The two physicists left behind stared at each other, then Sheldon shook his head.

"Honestly, you'd think he'd pay more attention," he said blithely, eating something small off his plate and then making a face. Gods, he hated these things. And where was Penny? Bathrooms did not offer that many activities. Then again, Penny could be entertained for hours with the simplest things. For all he knew, she was in there constantly pumping and re-pumping the soap dispenser.

"So, Dr. Cooper."

Sheldon glanced up from his thoughts at Dr. Hill, who was eyeing him curiously.

"That young woman. Is she your wife?"

Sheldon nearly choked on his water. "Good Lord, no! But she is my - Oh, what's the term - Oh yes, girlfriend." He nodded, wiping up some of his spilled water. God, she'd nearly given him a damn heart attack.

Dr. Hill raised a brow.

"Your girlfriend? The two of you seem to have little in common. It was my understanding that a romantic relationship, more so than any other similar relationship, required common interests in order to perpetuate conversation and mutual activities."

"We have mutual activities," Sheldon said a bit defensively. Certainly he participated in the more carnal activities. He sure hoped she wasn't implying that Penny could do those things by herself, because if so, he might actually have a problem.

Dr. Hill gave a slow smile. "I'm sure," she said, taking a slow sip of wine. Sheldon narrowed his eyes.

"We do! I resent your doubtful tone. I am fully participative in sexual intercourse and do not feel for one moment that my presence is unnecessary."

Dr. Hill smirked, not so much as glancing up with Penny returned, plopping into her chair next to Sheldon and blinking at his agitated expression.

"What's wrong, sweetie?"

Sheldon twitched for a moment, but then simply shook his head. He was going to drop it. This woman was trying to entice him into an argument.

And then - five minutes later, just as Sheldon's boss wandered over with his newest wife in hand -

"Penny, it's not possible for you to have sexual intercourse _alone is it?!" _


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note: Wow, pressure.

-sweats bullets-

Hope this one measures up!

Xxx

"Oh, come on, Sheldon. You know you like my slutty dresses," Penny said with a grin as the two walked up the stairs to their apartment floor, Penny's slim arm in Sheldon's equally thin one. Sheldon made a face.

"Oh, I like them well enough when we're alone, for certain," said Sheldon. "But in public, those dresses are nothing more than a prompt to hold a conspicuously placed book," he finished flatly.

Penny giggled as they stepped on the final step and came around the corner. Sheldon nearly fell down the stairs when he ran right into a tall, muscled guy Penny had seen floating around downstairs sometimes. He must live in a different floor, she thought.

"Oh, sorry, dude." A brilliant white smile that, just half a year ago, would have had Penny swooning. As it was, she sort of found it cheesy now. Funny how that happened.

Sheldon balked a little but managed only the barest of nods. He and Penny started to move, but the other man stopped them. Or rather, he stopped Penny, touching her arm.

"Hey, I've noticed you around the building and I was just wondering.. You wanna go out sometime?"

Sheldon's brows furrowed and he looked at Penny, then back at the man, seeming a little confused. Like - But - Shouldn't I?

But Penny, as usual, spoke up first.

"Excuse me?" She glanced at her and Sheldon's joined arms in disbelief. "Um, that's.. nice, but I'm .. with my boyfriend. Incase you couldn't tell."

To say that the guy looked surprised was an understatement. He actually laughed a little.

"You gotta be kiddin' me. This -" He pointed to Sheldon, "- THIS guy?"

Again, Sheldon looked pretty affronted, but he had suffered many such encounters in his life and had never before found the courage or strength to retaliate. Like sand through the hour glass.

However, in all those times past, he had never had a Penny. And from the look on her face, she was in throat-punching mode. Letting go of Sheldon, she stepped forward and poked the guy in the chest. "Look, I realize your big macho brain is having trouble processing something as complex as a _relationship, _but this -"

She yanked Sheldon over, and the skinny scientist stumbled to her side, flinching and holding up his hands to avoid being hit.

" - THIS is my boyfriend, and his name is Sheldon, and he is MUCH preferable to YOU."

The man gaped at her.

Penny yanked Sheldon over to her apartment door, pulled out her key, and within seconds, she tugged him in and slammed the door behind them.

And then she kicked it for good measure.

"Eugh! What a - flatulent asshole!" Penny looked for something else to hit, while Sheldon simply stood there, holding onto the strap of his bag. Finally, Penny stopped and stared at him, looking incredulous.

"Sheldon, doesn't that piss you off at all? That guy didn't even believe we were dating! He treated it like a - like a joke." Disgusted, Penny flopped onto the couch and dropped her purse down on the side. Sheldon watched her for a moment, then shifted and sat, straight-backed, next to her.

"Penny," he said quietly.

"I mean - what kind of arrogant jerk-off is going to sit there and tell ME who I'm dating? Or who I should date? I mean, God, who does he think he is?!"

"Penny."

"He saw me holding your arm! What, did he think we were brother and sister?" Penny asked mockingly, standing up and waving her arms now.

"Penny!"

She finally stopped and looked over to the older man, who was still sitting in his 'Penny's Apartment Sheldon Spot.' Penny let her arms drop at the placid look on Sheldon's face.

"What?" she asked weakly.

Sheldon sighed and shifted a little. "Penny, that sort of thing happens to me all the time. I mean, not exactly, of course - seeing as how my number of girlfriends has been so undeniably small that it borders on imaginary - but that sort of .. Thinking. I'm aware that it's stupid and insulting, but.."

He curled his fingers in his lap.

".. Well, in all honesty, if I saw you with a guy like me, I wouldn't believe it either." He blinked up at her and then raised a brow.

"In all honesty, Penny, you wouldn't either."

The blonde stared at him, a little shocked at first that he would say that about himself, and then about her. As if she would - judgmental, stereotyping, who DOES that -

But then she slowly sank down onto the couch next to him, because she knew he was right. They were polar opposites. They didn't look like they fit together at all.

But they did.

Reaching over with her hand, she slowly curled it over the tensely wrapped ones in Sheldon's lap, and he looked up at her, blue eyes meeting green. Slowly, Penny straightened and scooted over, her hand tight in his.

"Well now we both know better," Penny said with a soft smile, and Sheldon blinked and then returned it with his own small, genuine one. And even though it was usually Penny that initiated any sort of physical contact, it was Sheldon this time who leaned over and pressed his lips to hers. He only did it when they were alone, and positively flushed scarlet if she kissed him in front of anyone else, but it didn't matter.

They fit.

Xxx

Sarah Hill had graduated top of her class from Cornell University at the age of twenty-two. She had mastered all the known theories on physics, could re-write any science textbook in her own words, and she could probably even create a mini-city of sea monkeys out of a Kleenex and the DNA of a flea.

And yet she could not make Sheldon Cooper have one single personal conversation with her.

Every time she mentioned something outside of work, he had always ignored her, rebuffed her, or instantly changed the subject back to whatever their current experiment was. Such grueling efforts had been made that she was beginning to feel that her limited social quota could be met in the single hour she spent with Sheldon each day, because trying to talk to anyone else after that period of time was just irritating.

And yet she continued to try, and finally, finally one day she figured out the secret word -

"So, Dr. Cooper, how long have you been with _Penny?" _

Sheldon looked up, goggles in place, and stared at Dr. Hill in front of him. A pause, and then he quietly picked up a syringe and extracted an odd, purple liquid from a vial and dropped it into another one by itself.

"Eight months, two weeks, three days and fourteen hours." Sheldon always counted the three months they'd simply been 'friends with benefits.' It sure as hell seemed like a relationship to HIM.

"I see," said Dr. Hill, extracting another liquid and adding it to the drop Sheldon had placed in the vial.

"And what, may I ask, lies in your future with her? Are you planning to procreate?"

Sheldon almost dropped his syringe. "God, no! I mean -" He paused, gathering himself. Then, with a little edge to his voice -

"We are simply dating. It's not an eighteenth century betrothal, for God's sake. When I want to go through the grievous process of having a biological offspring and committing to the moral and social obligations such a thing would bring, I will have had, in far advance, asked someone to eliminate me from this planet."

Dr. Hill smirked.

"Are you saying you wouldn't like to pass on your genetic gifts, Dr. Cooper?"

"Oh, I think I have enough gifts on my own to satiate the appetite of this so obviously intellectually starved generation," Sheldon said flatly, turning away from Dr. Hill. The woman rounded the counter they were walking on and folded her arms.

"I agree with your observational analysis, Dr. Cooper."

Sheldon balked when he turned back around and saw Sarah Hill so close. Carefully, he edged away her, dragging his white lab coat a little and then moving over rather quickly. He fell over a stool, though, and had to take several moments to re-settle himself in a proper position before he could speak. When he did, clearing his throat, he said only -

"Yes, well, of course you do. I'm right."

Dr. Hill continued to work, and she allowed Sheldon a few moments to collect himself and perhaps let down his guard. Then she raised a brow.

"Dr. Cooper, I am attending a conference in two weeks of which I am sure you would take great interest in. As an alumnus of Cornell University, I was invited to speak there in Ithaca and collaborate with some of the best minds in our field." A careful pause, not too long, but not too short.

"As a meeting of the most capable minds in physics, you should, of course, be in attendance."

Sheldon glanced up. Well, he couldn't argue with her there.

Dr. Hill raised a vial and swirled the liquid, checking carefully its color and composition. Slowly, she peered around it.

"Would you care to attend, Dr. Cooper? It will only be three days of your time."

Sheldon tapped his gloved fingers.

"A meeting of the most brilliant minds, Dr. Cooper," Dr. Hill practically taunted. "And yours should be included."

Sheldon made a face, then straightened. "Yes, you are quite right about that - virtually blasphemous such a convention would be without my presence. Alright, Dr. Hill, I will attend your little .. Speech conference."

He had to go. It was work, work in his field, and if all the most brilliant minds in the country were going to be there, he HAD to be included.

Because he was Sheldon Fucking Cooper, Ph.D. Extraordinaire.

Xxx

"You're going where again?" Penny asked, spooning Thai food into her mouth as she and Sheldon sat at the small table in her apartment. Sheldon was having his own delightful time with his Thai food, and he had to finish chewing before he could repeat himself for what seemed to him to be the eightieth time.

"Ithaca, New York. There's going to be a conference at Cornell University on particle physics and I was invited to attend," he said, adding some sodium chloride to his food and then continuing to eat. Penny gave a thoughtful 'mmm.'

"How close is that to New York City? Oooh, I wanna go shopping there so bad!"

"Why? You can order any of those things off the internet," Sheldon pointed out, and Penny rolled her eyes. "Sheldon, there's nothing like the exhilarating feeling of being in a Bloomingdale's, surrounded by racks and racks of gorgeous over-priced clothes, just calling your name! It's not the same on the internet!"

"Indeed, there are many things that are not as exciting when watching them happen on the internet," Sheldon muttered, spooning his food and shoving it into his mouth.

"As opposed to actually doing them, of course."

Penny snorted. "Uh, yeah." She stood up and threw away her disposable Thai food tray and then walked over to Sheldon, putting her hands on his shoulders and tilting her head at him, letting her hair tickle his arm.

"You seem kinda off today. Something happen at work?"

Sheldon glanced up quickly, then averted his eyes. "Oh, no. Nothing. Just - particle physics, they can be testy sometimes you know, not always - adding .. Up."

He blinked, as if he knew even in his own head that didn't make sense. Penny raised a brow.

"Riiiiight, well, I'm going to go take a shower." She kissed his cheek and Sheldon made a face like a little boy whose mother left a lipstick imprint on his forehead at church in front of everyone that time when Sheldon was ten.

"Penny -" He grabbed her hand before she could move away completely, and Penny hesitated. "What is it, sweetie?"

Sheldon paused, then slowly let go of her hand and gave a half-smile.

"Nothing," he said quietly, returning to his meal. Penny paused, then leaned over his shoulders again, which were covered by a Green Lantern t-shirt. Pressing her fingers down his front, letting them slide over the raised lettering and the lime green symbol, she pressed her lips to his cheek. A slow kiss to his neck and then back up, pressing her lips to that spot just below his ear that literally made him squirm in his seat.

"Okay, Sheldon.."

Sheldon looked a little surprised as he turned to look at her face, so close to his and so familiar.

"Okay? That's it, really? You're not going to harass me into answer your question?"

"Why should I?" Penny asked quietly. "You never made ME do anything I didn't want to." A little smile. Sheldon's lips quirked a bit and he touched her hand briefly before Penny gave him one last peck and danced off to the bathroom.

Sheldon sat in his seat by the window and glanced out, eyes scanning the dark city scenery.

Perhaps she really had no idea of how much he really _had _made her do.

Xxx

_It started out as a feelingWhich then grew into a hopeWhich then turned into a quiet thoughtWhich then turned into a quiet wordAnd then that word grew louder and louder'Til it was a battle cryI'll come backWhen you call meNo need to say goodbyeJust because everything's changingDoesn't mean it's neverBeen this way beforeAll you can do is try to knowWho your friends areAs you head off to the warPick a star on the dark horizonAnd follow the lightYou'll come backWhen it's overNo need to say good byeYou'll come backWhen it's overNo need to say good byeNow we're back to the beginningIt's just a feeling and no one knows yetBut just because they can't feel it too Doesn't mean that you have to forgetLet your memories grow stronger and stronger'Til they're before your eyesYou'll come backWhen they call youNo need to say good byeYou'll come backWhen they call youNo need to say good bye_

_-Regina Spektor, "The Call" _


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note: Hey guys! Sorry this has taken me so damn long. I've been having a lot of personal issues lately and I didn't want it to leak into my writing. Hopefully things will remain smooth from now on and I can concentrate on this story, which is slowly but surely developing.

Xxx

"Sheldon, I just don't see why you need to borrow my suitcase. You already have two."

"Well, yes, Leonard, but they're full."

"Full of what? You can't possibly need that many suitcases for a three day conference. It's not even Comic-Con, I know they're not costumes!"

Sheldon scoffed. "They're _not. _I need the third suitcase because it's supposed to be _rainy _this weekend, and I had to double up on socks!"

He ripped open his second suitcase and gestured pointedly. Leonard tilted his head, groaning when he saw fifty pairs of socks crammed into Sheldon's brown suitcase. He slapped a hand to his face. A whole suitcase of socks.

Finally, he threw both arms in the air.

"Whatever, Sheldon."

Satisfied, the lanky scientist took his roommate's suitcase and began to fill it up. The conference was this weekend and he was preparing to leave to meet Dr. Hill at the airport. He hoped it wasn't one of those planes with the asymmetrical rows. Those drove him crazy.

"Sheldon!" A blonde head popped into his room. "Can I come in?" Sheldon opened his mouth, then closed it again, huffing when his girlfriend threw open his door and entered anyway.

"You about ready? Come on, sweetie, time's a' tickin'."

Sheldon looked affronted. "And why are you in such a rush to drive me to the airport? Do you have plans pending on my departure?"

Penny smirked. "Yeah, I've got three guys and a bullwhip waiting for me in my apartment."

Sheldon stared.

Penny rolled her eyes. "God, Sheldon. I promised Veronica I would meet her at the coffee shop once I dropped you off and I thought that was going to be like twenty minutes ago, so she's waiting."

"Well, I'm sorry -" He didn't really sound it, but he usually didn't, " - but your friend _Leonard _was making things unnecessarily difficult by not lending me his suitcase, which he was using for nothing else except a poorly chosen hiding place for those magazines of his."

Penny grimaced. "He got dumped by Leslie again, huh?"

Sheldon gave her a Look. "It was less Leonard getting dumped and more Leonard scrambling to explain why he couldn't fulfill his side of the social obligation that sex with a whore obviously entails."

Penny stared.

"He wouldn't meet her family," Sheldon explained, and Penny gave an 'Oooh,' before she checked her watch again. "Okay, come on, Sheldon." She picked up a handful of neatly folded clothes, threw them into the suitcase, and then zipped it shut. Sheldon stared, aghast, but Penny just shoved the suitcase at him and grabbed the other two.

"Let's GO, Sheldon!"

Huffing indignantly, Sheldon hurried behind her, shuffling with the weight of the suitcase and hurrying out, so very bothered by the disorganization in the suitcase he was holding.

"Bye Leonard!" Penny called, and Howard and Raj looked up as well, waving their good-byes to Penny and Sheldon, who stopped at the door.

"Dearest comrades, I realize that these three days without me will be grueling, but I have this to leave you with -"

A pause, Penny was tapping her foot - loudly. Sheldon cleared his throat a little.

" - …. Don't touch my things," he finished.

And they left.

Raj moved one piece on the three dimensional chess board he and Howard were staring at intensely. Ten minutes passed, and then -

"I kind of want to go and rub my ass on everything in his room," said the Indian.

Silence for a full minute.

Then three scraping chairs as all the men rushed to Sheldon Cooper's doomed bedroom.

Xxx

At the airport, Penny shouldered one of Sheldon's bags while they looked for the gate. "Look, there's your friend, Dr. Hill!" Penny pointed, and Sheldon glanced up, spotting her as well. She was dressed much less formally outside of work - in fact, she was wearing a white fitted shirt and a pair of jeans.

"Wow, she has a cute body," Penny noted, and Sheldon flushed a little. "Can you not analyze my co-worker's body, please? I feel as if I'm on another trip with Howard 'Horndog' Wolowitz."

Penny grinned, then set Sheldon's bag on the belt.

"Well, I'll leave you here, sweetie. Gotta get back. Besides, you're a big boy, I think you can handle it from here."

Sheldon rolled his eyes. "I hate flying."

"I know."

"I hate being on planes."

"I know."

"I hope the sheets at the hotel are one hundred percent cotton."

"I'm sure they are."

"Penny -"

"It's going to be FINE, Sheldon." The blonde stood on her tiptoes and kissed his lips once, then twice, and Sheldon relaxed just a little. A pause, and then Sheldon said -

"I will miss you."

Penny's lips broadened into a true smile, and she reached up, touching his face. "I'll miss you, too.. Have fun, okay? Don't worry about me."

She kissed him once more, in which he leaned just a little into the embrace, and then she pulled away with one last squeeze of his hand. Sheldon shifted his duffel bag on his shoulder and gave her one more awkward little wave.

Glancing down the airport corridor, he caught the eye of Dr. Hill, who was watching with something akin to a smirk on her face. Sheldon shifted uncomfortably, grabbed his carry on bag, and then hurried to the gate. Something inside of him felt .. Bad.

Xxx

Veronica swirled her mocha drink around, and she had been trying to decide whether or not to ask that cute guy behind the counter for his phone number when Penny finally arrived.

"There you are!"

"Sorry, Sheldon was being difficult." Penny grinned as she sat down in the seat and rolled her eyes. "He's really weird about traveling. And packing. And .. Everything, really."

"Where was he going this weekend anyway? If he's so weird about traveling -"

"Oh, it's for work. He doesn't leave his house except for work or something comic-book related." She rolled her eyes, though it still made her grin a little to think about it. Veronica gave an 'ahh'.

"Yeah, he's going to some conference with this scientist lady he works with. Something about - partner physics.. Or .. Something." Penny shrugged. Victoria raised a brow.

"Wait, he's going to a conference with just his _female _co-worker? Like, overnight?"

Penny gave a slight, uncertain laugh. "Um, yeah. What's the deal? I mean, we're all grown-ups here, right?" She sipped at her drink as Victoria shrugged. "Exactly. Grown-ups have sex."

Penny set down her cup a little more roughly than necessary.

"Victoria, look - this is Sheldon we're talking about. _Shel-don. _He doesn't even know other women exist, I promise you," she said, giving another little laugh. Victoria still seemed disbelieving, because she made a little 'hmm' sound and focused on her drink.

Penny made a face. "What, Victoria?"

"Well, I'm just saying, I wouldn't let MY boyfriend go off on a three day trip with some woman I didn't know -"

"She's a co-worker."

"Yeah well, unless Sheldon and her are both nuns, I don't think that means a God damn thing."

Penny scoffed. "You're being ridiculous. Sheldon is - I mean, he's not normal. Sure, normal guys cheat, but Sheldon's not like that."

"That's what you said about Jake, too."

Penny stopped, then frowned deeply at the mention of her long-ago ex. Then she shook her head and took a long sip of her drink.

"Sheldon is _nothing _like Jake. He can't even find his own penis unless I'm holding it for him."

"Unless _someone's _holding it for him."

Penny's brows furrowed. Then she shook her head and glared out of the coffee shop window. Sheldon. Yeah, right. As Raj and Howard constantly told him -

He was pushing it to have one girlfriend.

How could he possibly think about having another?

Xxx

"They're cotton, but the thread count seems to be very low. Do you think I could get some better quality sheets in Room 204?"

The woman behind the counter of La Quinta Suites stared at him, then shoved his room key back at him and turned away to continue talking on the phone. Properly rebuffed, Sheldon took his key with a little more vigor than necessary and returned back to the hotel room he would be staying at. He and Dr. Hill had spent the last two hours at the conference hall, listening to lectures and meeting some officials. Now they had both returned to their hotel rooms, which were side by side.

Sheldon fumbled wit his hotel key and then opened it up, then nearly fell over at the sight of Dr. Sarah Hill, standing in his room. For a moment, he looked around, at the door numbers.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I seem to have come to the wrong room," Sheldon said, shifting a little, looking uncomfortable. Sarah raised both brows. "Oh, no, you didn't. I was just waiting to speak with you, so we could review the day's events and discuss them in length."

Sheldon's brows furrowed. "Why would we do that? I am perfectly capable of overanalyzing things in an annoyingly meticulous manner all by myself."

He side-stepped her.

Dr. Hill turned, folding her arms over the chest of the cardigan she had worn to the conference.

"Oh? And I suppose your .. Girlfriend .. Is waiting for you to call and elaborate to _her _the day's events. After all, she must be so very interested in your work.."

Sheldon glanced up at Dr. Hill.

"What is it that you're trying to say, Dr. Hill?" He asked finally, the astute social wizard finally catching on that there seemed to be something a little amiss.

Dr. Hill shrugged and stepped away from the door.

"I suppose my intentions are to draw your attention to the lack of consistency in your current romantic relationship. You will very soon plateau in your relationship with Penny. Once you have exhausted all of your explanations, your attempts at finding common interests, and your exchange of intellectualism for the satisfaction of physical needs, you will begin to wonder."

A pause.

"Tell me, Dr. Cooper.. How many other significant others have you had?"

Sheldon took a step back as Dr. Hill took a step forward, until his knees were bracketed by the bed.

"Well, none," he admitted. The woman raised a brow and smirked.

"Exactly. How can you truly analyze the outcome of an experiment when working with only one possible variable?"

Sheldon was silent.

Dr. Sarah Hill's lips spread into a near grin.

"Right."

Xxx

"Where is he?"

"I don't see him! Perhaps he is standing at the airplane's door, telling the pilot all of the reasons why he should not have his job," Raj guessed, and he and Howard snickered. Penny rolled her eyes. "I don't know why you guys bothered to come. You were glad he left!"

"Oh, but now we're very anxious for his return," Howard said with a grin, and the three men snickered again. Penny raised a brow, then shook her head and stood on her tiptoes, trying to see where Sheldon was coming off of the plane. Believe it or not, three days without Sheldon had really sucked, and now she was ready for him to come back.

"Oh, there's Doctor Hill," Leonard said, pointing. "God, she is one hot scientist," Howard muttered, and Raj gave an appreciative nod in agreement. Penny rolled her eyes. Then - "Oh, there's Sheldon!"

And so he was, stepping off with his bag in hand, his blue eyes searching the airport. When he spotted Penny and his three friends waiting for him, he gave the slightest of smiles, and Penny frowned a little. Something about his manner seemed off.

Even when he approached, and Penny rushed to hug him, something seemed wrong with his expression. Even his embrace. Even the way he cooly acknowledged his three companions, who were giggling wildly and didn't even notice how off-put he seemed.

Sheldon purposefully did not glance at Sarah Hill as she departed, looking rather satisfied with herself.

"Come on, let's go.." Sheldon said quietly, holding onto his bag strap as Penny looped her arm in his. "Alright, sweetie.." she consented quietly, and the fivesome left the airport.

And Sheldon never looked back.


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Note: Okay, so I'm done MOVING so I should be able to update a lot more regularly. I'm in complete awe at the reviews for both this fic and the one preceding it. You guys. Seriously.

YOU GUYS.

And now, to reward you lovely reviewers, the fourth chapter.

Xxx

Penny's twenty-third birthday had undoubtedly been the best of her life.

And she had had some pretty fantastic birthday parties. Like when she was freshly six, and her mother had turned the entire front yard into a festival for her, with a clown (who was really her Uncle Mack) and a pony (from the farm down the street) and all the kids from school who had even so much as looked in Penny's direction in the last two years.

And then there was her eleventh birthday party, when her parents took her and six of her friends to Chuck-E-Cheese's and they'd all spent two sweaty hours running around a child's paradise with pizza in one hand and tokens in the other, screaming and then falling into a pit of plastic balls that probably had an unhealthy amount of bacteria according to Dateline, but went unnoticed at the time.

But then, you know, there were some that weren't so great.

Like that year when Penny turned thirteen, and she'd invited her crush from school, a boy named Logan. She'd spent the entire day getting ready, plastering make-up her Aunt Jody had sent her on her pre-teen face, finding the perfect skirt-tank combo that would adequately show off her newly budding curves, even though her cousin Mickey said she might as well be a table, she was so darn flat.

She'd even gotten her ears pierced that day for the first time ever, and when she'd looked in the pink vanity in her room, she glowed with pride, seeing them dangling there just next to her lip-sticked lips and her rosy red cheeks.

And then he didn't shown up.

He just.. Didn't come. And when Penny questioned him the next day, he'd just shrugged and said something had come on television that he really wanted to watch.

And so began Penny's long line of disappointments in the opposite gender. In fact, her next worst birthday party was her sixteenth, and not because her crush didn't show up, but because he _did. _

Penny had had a private birthday party with her family, but they went out of town the following weekend, and so she decided to throw her own sweet sixteen without either of them peering over her shoulder. She'd even gotten an older cousin to get a couple six packs of beers, and basically the party was a hit, because no one else had been able to get a hold of anything like that.

And when Thomas Mitchells showed up, Penny thought her smile would lift off of her face and float away on wings. He looked so hot too, so football-and-baseball-and-sixpack gorgeous. Exactly what Penny loved in a man. She caught his eye from across her living room, which was crowded with people, and he smiled at her and Penny thought she would melt into the floor and become one with the brown shag rug.

They'd talked all night, going through beers while they sat on the couch, growing ever closer. He even traced his fingers up her bare shoulder and then brushing them there over her chin. Penny leaned over, brushing her lips with his.

And then Thomas Mitchells, the most gorgeous man in their grade, vomited in her lap.

She found out two days later he had a girlfriend anyway.

As it was, though, Penny had found that her life seemed to revolve around the events that happened at her birthday parties, and her twenty-third was absolutely no exception. Perhaps because it was the first one where she had been dating Sheldon, she hadn't known what to expect. Like with Valentine's Day, Penny wasn't sure if Sheldon would even remember. He always seemed to have so much on that huge mind of his.

So it was quite a shock when Penny came over to Leonard and Sheldon's apartment for what she had _thought _was a routine Thursday night, and it had turned out that there were fifty people crowded into that apartment, all shouting her name along with a huge - SURPRISE - when she entered.

Fifty people excluding, that is, Sheldon Cooper. And when Penny finally realized this, after sorting through all the people, she turned to Leonard with a frown.

"Where's Sheldon?"

Leonard had looked uncomfortable, and he'd twisted his sleeve as he spoke. "He had to work late, Penny.. I'm sorry. He really wanted to come."

"Oh..," Penny had said softly, giving a small smile. "Well, this is still really great. Really, Leonard, thanks."

"You're welcome, Penny."

And so she had navigated the crowd, smiling and hugging and accepting small gifts with a little laugh. But all the while she thought of Sheldon, wishing he was there, because couldn't he have taken one night off of work for her? He worked all the time..

And then, approximately thirty-two minutes after Penny had arrived at her own birthday spectacular, several people got shoved into the wall as the apartment door swung open wildly.

And Sheldon Cooper stood in the doorway, looking like he'd been mugged and raped and God only knew what else, half-bent over like he'd been running, with his hair and clothes all a mess.

But one hand raised triumphantly.

"BY GOD, I GOT THEM!"

Everyone stared, but Penny stepped forward, her expression incredulous.

"Dear God, Sheldon, what the hell happened to you?"

Leonard, Raj, and Howard all snickered, and Sheldon stumbled in and shut the door, and that was when Penny had realized he was holding a pair of tickets. When he finally straightened, still out of breath but now with that prideful smirk on his face, Penny realized that the tickets were to a Broadway play - in New York. On the other side of the country.

To see _Wicked. _

"Oh my GOD, Sheldon!" Penny squealed, taking the tickets and staring at them in amazement. "These - You didn't."

"Oh, but I did," Sheldon said, smirking. Penny stared at him, mouth open rather unattractively.

"But Sheldon -"

"You said you wanted to go."

"I - I do, but these are - expensive, and - It's in New York City!"

Sheldon raised a brow. "You said you wanted to go.." Quiet. The room was silent save for the two of them, in which Penny stared in amazement at the man who had stood three hours in a line of crazed Wicked fans and fought off two fourteen year old girls for the last two tickets.

A slow smile.

"Sheldon.. I can't believe you sometimes." Arms suddenly around Sheldon's neck, and he flushed scarlet when the entire crowd gave an 'aww', and Leonard and the others grinned until their faces threatened to split.

"You're amazing.."

Sheldon slipped his arms around her, his eyes shifting to the crowd. He hid his face in Penny's neck to avoid seeing them.

"I love you, Penny."

And her heart began to _defy gravity. _

Xxx

That had been two months ago, and it served as further evidence in Penny's argument that Sheldon Cooper was incapable of cheating. No matter what stupid Veronica said.

So when Sheldon was due to the be picked up at the airport, Penny had decided to surprise him with a new comic book (which she got Leonard to pick out) and a new outfit (which he would surely not notice). But whatever. It was the thought that counted. And she wasn't REALLY worried. Why should she be?

Even when she stood at the airport waiting on him, she got herself a chiding little laugh.

This is _Sheldon._

No sooner had Sheldon Cooper rounded the corner, re-situating his carry on bag on his skinny shoulder, than Penny came flying out to jump into his arms and hug him tight, as if he'd been gone for three months instead of three days.

Dr. Sarah Hill stood closely behind, a self-satisfied smirk on her face.

Penny noticed it, but she put it off to one of those brainy people things. They always looked so pleased. Like they knew something everyone else didn't.

Oh, wait. They did.

Penny pulled away from Sheldon, her face glowing, and what looked back at her was a man who looked mildly unnerved. Or perhaps a little gassy.

"Hello, Penny.."

Penny's smile flickered, but quickly found its place on her face once more. "Hey! Aren't you excited to see me? You look a little -"

"It was a rough flight," Sheldon said immediately, and his expression finally shifted a little into his small half-smile. "And I am exhausted. May we leave?"

"Of course, sweetie."

Penny took Sheldon's arm and they left the airport, with Dr. Hill watching them from the terminal. Penny glanced over her shoulder and met the woman's gaze.

And she didn't like what she saw.

Xxx

It hadn't been any special day, that Tuesday four months ago, when Sheldon Cooper had been in his office finishing up some work, feeling particularly exhausted because he had been forced to do another one of those student seminars and he hated those so much, because so many of those people were worthless, he told Dr. Gablehauser on numerous occasions, and why should he waste his time talking to them when he could do double the work of the whole lot?

And, for that matter, why was it that Leonard got to have one of those new name plates for his door when Sheldon had had to send his back for spelling his last name wrong?

Honestly. How does one misspell 'Cooper' and yet correctly spell 'Hofstadter'?

It was an enigma. And so Sheldon had been working in an office where one could not correctly identify him, because his name plate was missing and had been such for the last two weeks, because apparently whatever cheap manufacturing company made their nameplates was having a worker's strike.

Sheldon was really beginning to wonder if he asked too much out of life.

So he was really surprised when the door to his nameless office was cracked open and his girlfriend peeked in, looking very pleased with herself. He'd thought he heard shuffling outside, but he figured it was just Kripke trying to spy on him again, and that man wasn't worth his damn time.

"Penny? What on earth are you doing here?"

Penny flashed a quick grin. "I made you something."

Sheldon raised a brow, looking a little disbelieving. "Did you now?"

"Yes! I put my Penny Blossom making skills into work and created something JUST for you, Sheldon."

And then she threw open the door, and Sheldon nearly fell out of his chair. His entire office door had been positively _covered _with Penny Blossoms, among other brightly colored paraphernalia that included bright felt stars and spirals made out of construction paper and glued on rhinestones.

And in the center of his door, in huge, brightly colored (and polka-dotted) wooden letters, read -

Sheldon Cooper, Ph.D.

"See? Now you don't need that stupid name-plate back."

Penny put her hands on her hips and smirked at the door as Sheldon Cooper stared, bewildered, appalled, and unequivocally impressed.

Sheldon Cooper wasn't nameless anymore.

Xxx

Sheldon had been back from his little 'convention' for three days, and he kept glancing at the clock at work, like he was anxious to leave even though he was a scientist and there really wasn't an amount of time he had to spend AT work. He simply had to get his work done.

And it had BEEN done for almost an hour, and yet he still hadn't left. He wasn't doing anything. In fact, he was sitting at his desk staring at the wall, behind a door flowered in pink, purple, and blue.

Sheldon was a terrible, terrible liar. How could he go home, knowing Penny was right across the hall, and what if she asked -

What if she _knew? _

But Sheldon couldn't stay at work forever, so he finally got up and took the bus home, wishing he had something else to do with his time but knowing that for the last several months, his spare moments had been devoted to Penny, and his sudden change of - thought - couldn't change that.

He usually slept at Penny's apartment, because he wouldn't allow them to ever have sex in HIS bed, but that night he insisted they sleep in his room. Which meant they wouldn't have sex, which was alright, but Penny wondered why he insisted.

Even when Sheldon was asleep, and Penny was awake till two a.m., staring at him and wondering, she still didn't know.

Sheldon wasn't like those guys. He wasn't Thomas Mitchells or Logan. He wasn't Jake or Drew or even Leonard. He was Sheldon.

Curling an arm around his slim frame, Penny pulled herself closer in the dark room and closed his eyes.

This would not end like all those others had. Veronica was an idiot.

And she murmured to him a good night.

xxx


	5. Chapter 5

Author's Note: Bahahah. Everyone keeps asking me questions I cannot answer. I am forced to simply smile, nod, and give annoying vague hints just like J.K. Rowling!

Only, you know, to like ten people instead of 10000000000000000000000000000000000.

Xxx

Penny and Sheldon had been dating for several months, and even though they seemed to love each other terribly, they hadn't always coasted by on good times and smiles. In fact, there had been a lot of arguments, heated exchanges, and even a mean right hook on Penny's part.

Like that time Penny waited in her apartment for three hours because Sheldon was supposed to return home from work and go on a special date with her. She'd told him numerous times, and he had agreed and even picked out the restaurant.

But seven o' clock on Wednesday came and went. And then eight. And then nine.

Penny sat on her couch, fully dressed and in her new purple heels, and waited for him to come home. She tried calling his phone four times, but no answer.

So, needless to say, by the time she finally heard movement out in the hallway, Penny was a very unhappy young woman. Ripping open her door, she saw Sheldon pulling out his keys and unlocking the door to his own apartment.

Penny stepped into the hallway and slammed the door shut behind her, making her skinny boyfriend whirl around, wide-eyed. And then he saw Penny and relaxed.

"Oh, hello, Penny."

He worked on the lock some more. It was getting pretty ridiculous, the way it would get jammed sometimes. Penny stared, her lips twisting into a grimace that she couldn't help.

"Hello.. Penny? Hello?! That's all you have to say, Sheldon?"

Sheldon turned and raised a brow at her, then glanced around, as if there should have been a visual aid to assist him in this conversation.

"Well, yes, what else would I say?"

"How about - Oh, sorry, Penny, for making you wait three hours when we were supposed to go out on a date!"

Sheldon blinked, then raised a brow. "Oh, yes." His face lit up. "I discovered something entirely new in my research at work and I was there all day working out the finer points, you know," he finally got his door opened and walked in, and the blonde walked in behind him, her hand on her hip as she listened to his 'explanation.'

"It really is quite remarkable! And then of course, I had to stay and finish it -" He paused at the expression on her face, his brows furrowing and head tilting in confusion. She still looked angry. Hadn't she heard him? He'd been doing work! Important research, a new component of string theory -

Penny didn't look convinced.

"Sheldon.." She slowly set down her purse and folded her arms over her chest. She was doing her best not to unleash the throat-punching fury she was known for. " .. When you tell me - or anyone, for that matter - that you are going to be somewhere, you should BE there."

"But science -"

"But nothing, Sheldon! What the hell, I mean, I was sitting there for three hours just waiting for you, you arrogant asshole!"

Sheldon looked affronted. "I was doing important work!"

"And I was waiting on you to get done with your important work so we could have our date!"

Sheldon scoffed. "Well, I am sorry, Penny, but when it comes to science and socially obligatory frolicking, science will always take precedent."

Penny stared. Slowly, her arms dropped to her side and hug next to the black dress that clung to her body. Her slim brows furrowed and her lips parted, as if she was trying to find the proper words. Sheldon, uncomfortable at the silence, shifted and set his messenger bag down.

Penny pursed her lips. "Fine," she snapped, turning and walking out of the room, slamming the door behind her.

Sheldon stared, then slowly sank down onto the couch, on his spot. He glanced at the door, then frowned a little at his hands.

Had he done something wrong?

Meanwhile, Penny had seethed and ranted in her own apartment, tossing her purse violently onto the couch and then falling on it with a huff. How could he NOT know? How could he not call? Sure, he could do quantum physics, but he couldn't dial a phone number? Eugh.

Approximately ten minutes later, a soft trio of knocks.

"Penny."

The trio of knocks once more.

"Pen -"

The door opened, and Sheldon stumbled back at the abruptness of it, as well as the expression on his girlfriend's face.

"Fuck off, Sheldon, I don't want to hear it."

Sheldon quickly jumped forward and nearly got himself squashed between the shutting door and the frame. "Wait!" He squealed, and then he pushed on the door with all his strength.

It budged about an inch.

Penny rolled her eyes and twisted her lips before stepping back quite suddenly. Sheldon fell into her apartment in a tangle of jumbled limbs.

Penny tapped her purple heel. "What, Sheldon?"

Sheldon scrambled to a standing position and brushed off his Green Lantern shirt.

"Penny," he held up both hands, "I only wished to make it clear to you the reasoning behind my actions."

"I got the reasoning, Sheldon. Science is more important to you than me - and obviously way more important than any socially obligatory frolicking."

Sheldon winced. Perhaps his word choices had again failed him. Oh, life.

"Penny, I -"

"Sheldon, why can't you just tell me for once, for ONCE, that I'm more important to you than science?"

Silence.

Sheldon shifted, looking uncomfortable once more. Penny waited expectantly, eyebrows raised.

"Well, in all fairness, science was here first -"

"Oh, GOD, Sheldon!" Penny turned and stomped away, falling onto the couch and pulling off her heels. Sheldon hurried to the couch and sat tentatively on the edge. "Penny, you don't understand. This is not an effort to degrade you. I am -" He paused, searching for the right words. Such things usually escaped him, and this time was no exception.

Finally, he said -

"Penny, I .. am constantly thinking. Constantly. And yet, sometimes I find that my .. Thinking .. Is misplaced." Sheldon's words were soft, and he studied his fingers, which were curling around themselves.

Penny folded her arms and was quiet. Her eyes lowered, then lifted to the far wall, away from Sheldon's face.

"Penny, you must understand - these transgressions that you speak of do not occur to me. Certainly, I thought of our .. Event .. And yet I was unaware I was expected to alert you to my activities."

"See, Sheldon, I have a hard time believing that. You just - blew me off! To work, of all God forsaken things!"

Sheldon stood, frowning deeply. He advanced towards her. "You take for granted that I am able to understand the full capacities of a relationship of any sort, but having no previous experience in the matter, I am without any indications of the sort!

Penny, you fail to understand that science was the only thing I had in this world for the last thirty years!"

Penny fell silent and looked down at the floor. When she spoke, her voice was quiet, and it cracked a little like she was holding back tears.

"But .. Science isn't the only thing you have now, Sheldon."

Sheldon glanced up at her, then looked away as well, folding his arms over his chest uncertainly. They stood in an awkward silence for a long moment before Penny finally braved a glance in his direction. Taking in a deep breath, she stepped forward and glanced at his down turned gaze.

"Sheldon? Do you believe me?"

Sheldon exhaled softly and shifted his weight. "I .. Penny .."

"Sheldon, please.. Just - tell me that I'm at least.. On the same level .. As science?" Green eyes glistened as Penny waited for an answer, an answer that Sheldon seemed reluctant to give.

"Penny, I'm.. not sure if there's room for anything else."

Penny sucked in a breath, and Sheldon quickly looked up. He realized it pained him to see that look on her face, and he quickly stepped forward.

"But I am - .. Willing .. To try."

Penny glanced at him, tears threatening, and then she simply let her forehead fall against his narrow chest. Sheldon, taking the social cue he had finally learned to pick up, slowly wrapped his arms around her and pressed his cheek to her head.

Yes, he decided. He would try.

That had been six months ago.

Xxx

Of course, there had been times when Penny hadn't been the most reliable of girlfriends, either. After all, she had been largely accustomed to the type of man who was willing to go out every night, party all the time, drink at bars - and Sheldon didn't do any of that stuff.

So it wasn't long - two months into their relationship - that Penny had finally opted to go out with some of her girlfriends and leave her boyfriend behind with his own buds. Howard had made an attempt to join them, but Penny had properly rebuffed him by threatening the safety of his scrotum with a nail file.

Sometimes you had to be a little violent with Howard.

Sheldon didn't seem to mind, of course, but he was a little irritated that Penny didn't know when she'd be back.

"I just don't understand why you won't give me a time! I don't like not knowing things," he said with a frown, and Penny rolled her eyes. Her friends were waiting at the door, and she was already dressed in a pink halter and black skirt. Leonard, Raj, and Howard were all staring, heads tilted.

Penny's boyfriend, as always, was the only one oblivious.

"Because, Sheldon, I'm not twelve years old! I am not giving you a curfew. Just go to sleep without me!"

Sheldon stared at her, aghast. "But it's going to storm tonight!"

Penny deadpanned and then gave him a pat. "You'll be fine, sweetie. I'll be back whenever." And with that she left, leaving Sheldon a little miffed. He sat on his spot on the couch and glanced at the others, who were still watching the door as if Penny's outline might still be there.

"Man, how did you EVER get such a hot girl, Sheldon?"

"Well, obviously, not by staring idiotically at a door.." Sheldon muttered, standing and picking up some of his books. "I'm going in my room to read. If Penny arrives, tell her that her punishment for leaving me in the midst of a storm will be that she must sleep on the LEFT side of the bed tonight."

Three raised eyebrows.

Sheldon did a double-take. "What?" And then, at their confused faces, he sighed heavily. "Sleeping on the left side of the bed has been irrefutably proven to shorten the time in which one is in the REM cycle, therefore subjecting the said sleeping person to a much less restful night's sleep."

Leonard's lips parted some. "But - I've always slept on the left side of the bed."

"Yes, and we've all had to pay for your lack of brain activity because of it. And now if you'll excuse me -"

Sheldon shuffled into his room, and Leonard scrunched his brows and then laid back in the chair. "You know, I don't just wonder about his girlfriend - I wonder about US."

"Yeah, me too. I'm telling you guys, as soon as I get my own girl, I am dumping you losers," said Howard, and Raj snorted, and then threw an arm around Howard.

"Better get comfy then, you sad little Jew."

-

Penny came home at two in the morning, stumbling into the apartment with a drink still in hand. She hadn't meant to get so drunk - really, she hadn't, but she knew that Alicia was driving, and she hadn't been out in so long, and as everyone knew, she was a rather .. Flirtatious drunk.

So when she came into Sheldon's room only to spot him on the right side of the bed, she set her drink down clumsily - Whoops, she spilled it on one of his comics - and then ambled over to the bed.

She dropped rather unceremoniously onto his bed, and Sheldon popped up as he always did. Before he could scream - probably that damn 'DANGER, DANGER' - Penny clamped a hand over his mouth and straddled him.

"Shhhh," she giggled. Sheldon's blue eyes widened and he removed her hand. Glancing at the clock, he scowled. "It's two a.m."

"I know," Penny grinned.

"It was storming all night."

"I know!" More giggling.

Sheldon rolled his eyes at her. "You are inebriated."

"Yeaaaaaah.." Penny rolled off of Sheldon and onto her back on the bed next to him, and he sighed, rubbing his eyes and then staring at her.

"Just - go to sleep, please. I am not staying up to take care of you because you cannot allow yourself the self-control to stand on your own accord."

"I can stand!" Penny shouted, and Sheldon quickly shushed her. "What is wrong with you? Do you want Leonard to wake up and remind me what time it is, as he seems so fond of doing?"

Penny rolled her eyes. "Oh, stop being such a pussy! Jesus, Sheldon -"

"Stop being a - What did you call me?" Sheldon moved out of the bed and then took a deep breath, trying not to shake Penny because this was very undignified. He had spent a lot of his life avoiding situations like this and now here he was, with his drunker-than-piss girlfriend hanging around on his bed.

"Penny, either go to sleep or go to your own apartment."

Penny's expression abruptly changed, and her eyes narrowed. "You know what? Fine! I wanted to - to tell you - I loved you - but I don't!"

Sheldon's eyes widened for a moment, and then narrowed again. She was drunk. She didn't know what she was saying.

"Penny, just - go, please."

"Fine! Dumb - stupid Sheldon." Penny stumbled off of the bed and fell into a heap on the floor, and Sheldon sighed, wishing this was as simple as his science experiments at work. Stooping down, he did his best to help her up, but she jerked away from him and waved an arm.

"I - don't even care, Sheldon! I don't care."

"You are being senseless, Penny, really -"

"Just shut up, Sheldon! Just - shut up!" Penny stumbled away and grabbed the door, then glared at him over her shoulder and slammed it behind her.

Sheldon watched the door close and he sighed deeply. Slowly sitting on his bed, he glanced up - and saw she had spilled her drink on one of his Superman comics.

He jumped up and ripped open the door.

"YOU ARE ON A SPEEDY EXPEDITION TO HELL!"

And then he slammed the door.

-

She'd apologized the next day, but it had taken Sheldon a week to forgive her.

xxx


	6. Chapter 6

Author's Note: Alright, guys, once again I am making this story far shorter than I would like, simply because - come on, I'm not creative enough to write a long story! :D Quality over quantity, right? :p

So, I'm sure most of you have gathered my methodology here. I've spent most of this fic going back and forth between the present situation and memories that relate to it. In this way, I was able to explore Penny and Sheldon's relationship without writing it in a bland, moment-by-moment script. I'd like to think this gives some depth to the story. Or maybe it's just because I make so much of this shit up, I can't possibly make it look chronological.

Take it as you will!

No matter what, though, this IS the last chapter and all your questions - all one of them - will be answered. I hope you like it, and don't worry, if I get inspired, I will definitely continue to write Penny/Sheldon. I might even start a whole new one, if I decide on a different angle.

Thank you SO much for the reviews! They've made me absolutely squeal.

Xxx

"Sheldon, what is wrong with you? That's the third time this week you've set the TiVo to something other than Battlestar Galactica, and I'm getting really tired of watching Montel Williams tell this woman's multiple sexual partners that they are not the father of her children."

Leonard deadpanned.

His taller cohort glanced up from his spot at his desk, blinked at the words from his roommate, and then turned back to his work.

"My apologies. I had assumed something like that would be better suited for you intellectually."

Leonard narrowed his eyes, then stood and waltzed over. Even Sheldon's insults weren't on point - They didn't have any enthusiasm at all, as they usually did, and he hadn't performed one of his 'classic pranks' all week.

"Alright, Sheldon - What's up? Last time you acted like this, it was because you were sleeping with Penny."

Sheldon slowly looked up, eyebrows pointedly raised.

"So far as I've noted, I am still sleeping with Penny, Leonard."

He picked up his notebook and moved away, but Leonard stopped him. "Yeah, don't remind me - but that would make you act weird now! I mean - unless something happened. Did you two have a fight or something?"

"We did not," Sheldon said objectively, trying to side-step Leonard and instead finding himself looking down at the small scientist again. He sighed and tried the other way, but Leonard once more intercepted him.

"You know, it's astonishing to me that you failed so fantastically at nearly every athletic event possible. You have quite remarkable reflexes." Sheldon tried to move again, and this time Leonard pushed him down into his chair.

"Yeah, they - come from ducking a lot," Leonard said with a wince, before he once again returned to the topic at hand. He lowered himself onto the chair across from Sheldon and leaned forward, his elbows on his knees.

"Alright, Sheldon. Tell me."

Sheldon twitched visibly. "I cannot."

"Why?"

"Because there is nothing to tell."

"You're twitching, Sheldon." Flat.

"It's a nervous condition. Do not patronize me, Leonard, you know I have a plethora of health issues."

"Cut the crap, Sheldon! You're hard enough to live with as it is, but when you're harboring something, it's almost impossible. So just spill."

Sheldon glanced up and met Leonard's gaze. There was a long pause, and then -

"Leonard, I believe .. Penny and I should - .. End our relationship."

Xxx

One month, two weeks and two days ago, Sheldon Cooper arrived at Penny's apartment right on time, glancing at his watch as he did so and then raising his hand to knock.

Penny opened it up and smirked, tilting her head so that her blonde curls fell over one bare shoulder.

"Looking for someone?"

Sheldon raised both brows. "I was, but I suppose you'll have to do."

Penny rolled her eyes as Sheldon gave a snicker at one of his 'hilarious practical jokes.' Stepping forward, the young woman grabbed his blue t-shirt and pulled him forward, standing on her tiptoes to press a kiss to his lips.

"You ready?"

"That I am." Sheldon stepped aside and let Penny move out of her apartment, and the two joined hands and walked down the staircase, floor after floor, until they were outside. They went and ate at a small café - once Penny had asked the server a list of questions that she figured would sound more rude coming from Sheldon - and then they walked down the roads of Southern California, enjoying the gentle breeze and the fading daylight.

"Did you know, Penny -" He pointed at the sun, and then the stars moving into the sky, " - that a thimbeful of a neutron star would weigh well over one hundred million tons?"

"Really?"

"Yes, the density and the proportional location in space -"

"I think your brain weighs a hundred million tons, Sheldon." Penny grinned, and Sheldon started. "I shouldn't think so! My entire body weighs less than one hundred and thirty pounds, as my mother so often reminds me."

He rolled his eyes, and Penny grinned, looping her arm through his.

"It's okay. I like praying mantises."

"You like - Wait, what?"

More laughter. And then later that evening -

It began to rain. They were sitting on the beach, on a blanket because Sheldon was sure he'd never get the sand out of all those nooks and crannies, and the sprinkles began. Penny glanced up from where they were sitting and smiled, leaning back and inhaling the scent.

"Penny - Penny, it's raining! We should go inside."

"Why? Rain is nice. Besides, it's not going to hurt you."

"Oh, I beg to differ. Rain can travel at speeds of up to eighteen miles per hour, you know."

"No, I didn't." Penny rolled her eyes, then smirked over at him. Sheldon twitched, but he quickly felt better about the rain when Penny leaned over, pressing him back onto his elbows and lifting her knees to either side of his slim hips.

".. Sheldon," she said softly, leaning forward and letting her hair curtain one side of their faces.

"Yes?" He asked, entirely entranced by her face.

"You tell me things I don't know all the time," she murmured, pressing back his now wet hair. "Would you like me to tell you something you don't know?"

"Well, you'd be hard-pressed, but if you want to give it a try -"

Penny pressed her fingers over his lips to shush him, before she kissed his lips gently once.

"You make me happier than any guy I've ever been with.."

Sheldon's eyes widened. "I .. I do?" Because that truly was something he would have never guessed. Penny nodded, pressing him completely back against the sound, which was quickly becoming sludge beneath their blanket.

"Yeah.. I know things happen - and sometimes .. We disagree. And we argue. And.. I sometimes wish you weren't so smart, because I feel so left behind.."

She smoothed her fingers over his cheek and her lips quirked.

"But it's always worth it. Did you know that?"

"I.. I admit I did not."

Penny pressed her lips to his again and this time Sheldon responded with equal fervor, pushing himself up enough to wrap his arms around her and then press her over onto her back on the blanket, something he had become more skilled at - finally.

Sheldon wanted to say the same thing to Penny - that she made him happier than any woman he'd ever been with -

But in truth, he had never been with anyone else. He had nothing to compare it to.

And so he kept silent, even though his roaming hands and deep kiss hopefully spoke for themselves.

It kept raining, but neither of them seemed to mind.

Xxx

When there was something Sheldon wanted, he always did one of two things - he either made Leonard/his mother get it for him, or he created it - like that pet gryphon, though that plan had failed fantastically and led him to a bitter disappointment at the age of eight.

But Penny was the first and only thing in his life thus far - and he was not in his prime, mind you - that he had ever gotten for himself. He had not created her, certainly, and Leonard had been absolutely zero help in acquiring her.

So it was perfectly logical to wonder if perhaps - perhaps he had chosen the right thing. Because Sheldon had never chosen anything by himself, he knew, not even the furniture in the apartment or his bed sheets. And even then, he fretted over decisions. This was why it was so much easier for Leonard or his mother to do it.

Sheldon had always taken comfort in the fact that science, like video games, operated on something of a - save often mode.

As long as you saved often and were able to restart from a certain point, any mistakes you made could and would be obsolete once you were able to once again move to that central location. Either in an experiment or in Halo, all things would come back to a solitary event that was, at the very least, not exactly where you started.

Relationships, though - They weren't that way. Any screw up, any misgiving, and everything was for nothing. There was no save point. Everything was from scratch.

Which is perhaps why Sheldon Cooper abstained from them for so long. Or perhaps it was because he simply had no earnest desire to communicate with most humans. Whichever.

Either way, Sheldon had often found himself pondering his relationship with Penny and the ramifications if something were to go awry. He had consulted Star Trek video after Star Trek video, but as he had learned from Spock, even emotionless half-Vulcans could not avoid the love of a beautiful woman.

Oh, such was the woe of intelligent, handsome men such as Sheldon Cooper and Leonard Nimoy.

But even Spock had more action than Sheldon, so he figured the comparison was null and void. He loved Penny - or at least, that's what it must have been, to feel the desperate need to be around someone every day because without them, things felt meaningless.

But - perhaps it was a love of physical connection? What if was simply a love of - companionship?

As Spock had realized on Star Trek: The Original Series .. One emotion was, unfortunately, followed by a whole slew of others, and they were all pretty much an unstoppable force. As soon as Sheldon allowed himself to feel even one thing, everything else was simply - there. Overwhelming. And he never knew what to do with them. It was a hopeless and terrible thing, being taken over by a lot full of a things he had never experienced before.

He could do theoretical physics all day. But this?

He was like Batman, he figured. He could do all of this amazing super hero stuff, and yet when it came down to it, he was positively befuddled - and ultimately ruined - by a single beautiful woman.

A beautiful woman who, despite her name, was completely and utterly invaluable.

Xxx

Penny had spent the last few days revisiting all those days she and Sheldon had shared, looking for one possible clue that perhaps, in some wild alternate universe, Sheldon could have possibly, even for a second, cheated on her with that horrid woman. She didn't even have her nails done. Seriously, what would anyone see in her?

Knock. Knock. Knock.

"Penny."

Knock. Knock. Knock.

"Penny."

The blonde opened the door, raising both brows high. "Sheldon, Jesus - I mean, really. I told you - I'd get a buzzer."

"Why?" Sheldon asked, truly perplexed. "You've stated numerous times you can hear me all over the apartment. Such a thing would be a little unnecessary if you ask me."

He stepped inside and then hesitated, looking as if he was calculating whether or not he should sprint for it or remain.

Finally, he exhaled and turned to Penny, who was folding her arms over her chest.

"Sheldon.. Why do you look like you're guilty about something?" She paused, then a smile flickered uncertainly over her features. Sheldon glanced at the door once more. His conversation with Leonard had ended not ten minutes ago, but now he had forgotten everything he planned to say.

Ah, damn.

"Penny.. I believe we should - talk.."

Green eyes widened, and she took a step backwards, glancing at the door and then shifting. "Um, can we do it another time -" Like never. Because this - this had to be it, and Penny sank into the couch even though she wanted to simply run away.

This was - .. It.

She looked up at Sheldon, who paused and then shifted around the room, gingerly picking up a stray shirt and setting it aside. He needed to come back and clean -

Oh.

Sheldon inhaled carefully and then looked at Penny. He felt strangely impersonal, sitting across from her without touching her, as he was now so used to. His brows furrowed, and his lips parted, but nothing happened.

He looked away, and Penny looked down at her hands in her lap.

"What is it, Sheldon?"

"Penny.. There is a - matter.. Of great importance. A matter that I must speak with you about."

Penny quirked a brow and puffed her lips. "Okay.. So what is it?"

Sheldon looked anywhere but at her, and for a moment, that seemed like all he was going to do. Then he looked back at her and said suddenly -

"Penny, I did a bad thing while I was at that convention with Dr. Hill."

Penny's eyes widened. She had expected it- now, when he came here so nervous, so fidgety, and he'd been so strange since he'd come back.

She could already feel tears threatening. This could not be happening, she thought. This was Sheldon. Sheldon!

Not Kyle.

Not Trevor.

Not Kurt.

Not every single nameless son of a bitch in the world who had done this to her. Why did they think it was okay? Did they think she was worthless?

Penny lowered her head and a single tear escaped. Sheldon's lips parted again at the sight of it, and then he pressed his hands into his lap.

"Penny.. I -"

"Sheldon, you sorry - piece of shit, bastard -"

"Penny!"

The blonde stood up and moved away from hands that reached out to her, and Sheldon's face crumbled. He stood and followed her around the couch, trying to stop her stalking, but Penny shoved him away roughly.

"Just - fuck off, Sheldon! I mean - God. I seriously - Fuck. Fuck everything!" She kicked a decorative basket and let the contents fly all over her floor. Sheldon hurried out of the way, then moved around Penny and cut her off on her way to her bedroom.

"Penny, if you will listen to me - I have committed a wrong, but I wish to discuss it with you, and perhaps collectively form a hypothesis on why this happened -"

"No, Sheldon fucking Cooper, there is no GOD DAMN hypothesis!"

Tears choked her, and Penny shoved Sheldon again. He stumbled back a little, looking aghast. Tears threatened to take over Penny's face, which was so distraught it looked like it belonged to someone else entirely.

Someone who was very, very miserable.

Sheldon felt his heart sink as he looked at her. There was an unfamiliar, heavy feeling in his stomach and a loose jittery feeling in his limbs. His head began to swim and his own eyes began to water a little at the look on her face. Do not mistake, Sheldon Cooper had cried many times in his life.

But now was the first time it had felt so - devastating.

"Penny.."

"Get out of my way, Sheldon. Just MOVE! In fact - move out of the fucking zip code! I don't - want to see you - " She tried to move him, but for once, he was actually standing strong and holding his ground. He knew if she went in her room, she'd lock him out and he'd probably never see her again. Except maybe from the other side of that sawed off shotgun she kept somewhere.

Sheldon moved forward once more and grabbed her arms, holding her just enough to keep her from moving past him.

"Penny, you must LISTEN to me! What I did was wrong, but I have never in my life had the option to - be with one woman, much less another!

Considering such an option while obviously in a romantic covenant with you was wrong, but I plead for you to listen to my thoughts!"

Penny stopped, her body stilling in his hands. Her brows furrowed.

"Considering such an option?" She repeated, and Sheldon stared at her, now looking confused as well.

"Yes.. I considered sleeping with Dr. Sarah Hill, for a multitude of reasons, none of which were sound but - well, there you go.." He said, obviously looking uncomfortable. At Penny's stare, he grew irritated.

"What?" He asked rather snappishly, and Penny stared, lips parted. "You mean .. you didn't sleep with her? You didn't cheat on me?"

Sheldon raised both brows. "Well, not technically, no, but my mother always said Jesus considers thinking something is the same as doing it, so I simply assumed -"

"Sheldon, you just admitted to me that you only THOUGHT of sleeping with her? You didn't actually do it?" Penny exclaimed, and Sheldon looked aghast.

"Of course not! God, I can't even eat at a new restaurant for fear of sub par cutlery! What in Newton's great world do you think I would do in bed with a woman I don't even know? Read her a _book _on sex?"

Penny stared.

Sheldon stared.

And of course, Sheldon was the first to quirk a brow, anticipating her answer.

"Oh my God, Sheldon.." Penny slumped against the door frame, pressing a hand to her face. Sheldon waited, obviously confused.

"Was - Was I wrong?" Sheldon asked, looking as though he had never uttered those words collectively in a sentence.

Penny dropped her hand and looked up at him, exasperated.

"Sheldon, why would you - be so worried about telling me you THOUGHT about having sex with another woman? I mean - all men do that."

Sheldon shook his head passionately. "I don't. I barely think about having sex with any woman. When it happens between you and I, it's always a nice surprise instead."

Penny's brows furrowed.

Sheldon continued, "I was.. Merely ashamed of my thoughts because.. Because you told me that I made you happier than any man in your life."

Penny straightened, looking up at him. "Yeah.." She said softly. Tears still stained her cheeks.

Sheldon shifted uncomfortable under the scrutiny.

"Penny, I have.. Never been with another woman. Never. It's always been you, and I .. I love you. I know I do - I mean, either that or you carry a contagious pathogen that induces all the symptoms of love, and occasionally some associated with digestive issues -"

"Get on with it, Sheldon."

Sheldon frowned, then shifted.

"Penny.. I do not know if you make me happier than any other woman." Penny straightened, her frown deepening, and Sheldon frowned as well, because he hated seeing that look on her face.

"And I considered, however briefly, seeing if.. My emotional and physical response would be the same with any stimuli provided by any woman. I did not test that hypothesis because I was.. Too afraid."

Penny swallowed, then looked around.

"Do you.. Do you want to test that hypothesis, Sheldon?"

Sheldon inhaled deeply and then swallowed. "I .. I do not know."

Penny ducked her head, wiping away her tears. "Then that.. Probably means yes, Sheldon," she managed, and Sheldon's brows furrowed.

"Penny.."

"Sheldon, if you're with me .." Penny said, looking up at him with an expression that was stronger than she felt. " .. then you should be absolutely sure. Are you?"

Sheldon opened his mouth, then closed it again and looked away.

Penny nodded, then reached up a hand and pressed it to his cheek. Leaning forward, she stood on her tiptoes and kissed his cheek.

"Call me when you figure it out, okay?"

And then, this time without interruption, Penny stepped back into her room and shut the door.

And Sheldon Cooper, Ph.D of Theoretical Physics, was left with an experiment that he had never seen coming .. And one he wasn't even sure he could complete.


	7. Note from Kat

Author's Note:

Wow! SERIOUSLY. I had not expected such strong reviews from you guys! To hear that my writing creates any sort of emotion (besides, you know, disgust) is amazing. You guys have no idea how much I love to write - everything! - and it really .. Honestly means the world to me when you guys read it and like it. I don't write just for the praise, but hell, it sure doesn't hurt! :D

And due to the responses to this chapter (which IS the last one), I've decided to write a third installment to this fic. A full-length one, like the previous two (though I may write some one-shots in between like Valentine's Day Massacre).

Really, I should just combine them all into one, but then I'd lose all those reviews from the individual ones and I love to read them, especially when I'm having a bad day. They make me positively GLOW.

The next installment of this fic - and the last one of this series - is going to be more Sheldon-focused than the last one. It's way easier to write from Penny's POV since it's a lot easier to follow, but I think I'm going to give more of Sheldon's thoughts a shot. It'll be challenging, but hopefully I can do it without sounding like an idiot. :D

Also, THANK YOU so much to those people who recommended others to read this fic! That is awesomely sweet and it makes me smile. Anyway, I don't know when the first chapter of the next fic will be out, but I'll try not to take too long.

Thanks again! Oh, and good luck with starting back to school (as I will be doing next week)!


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